Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is a Matter of Choice

Make suffering a choice with the right mindset

Humans have consciousness which enables them to interpret memories and harbor a vision for their future. This capacity allows them to live outside the clutches of the present moment and circumstances. This ability forces them to relive negative moments of the past and also get anxious about future misfortunes.

Who isn’t familiar with this quote by Buddha, “pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” The damage I did to my mind by persistently thinking about the incidents is far more than the actual event. I was a victim of my mind and this trend continued for longer than it should have been.
The suffering I created in my mind, in reality, took away the joy of the present moments.

I have developed some techniques to allow myself and my readers to better manage negative emotions. Sometimes these work, while at other times they do not, but I feel better and happier each passing day. 


I always gave a special placement to people who meditated regularly, and then I started doing it myself. It has since become the most powerful aspect of my life. It has allowed my mind to heal and erase my frustrations and anxieties. I now feel clearer and focused on whatever I do, with new strategies and solutions to whatever life throws at me. I suggest meditation to others even if it’s just for 5-10 minutes.

Take Action

Instead of fretting over something or getting anxious, it’s good to take action. When I was bothered about financial issues, I prepared a budget instead of opting for a loan. Learning to manage money is an important life skill as it gave me a secure platform to achieve my goals in life. Action eliminated doubt so when I was worried about a deadline, I started working on that project. It put me back in control. Instead of leaning in to fear, take action.

Understood my Significance

As mentioned earlier, the number of bad events and instances in my life were uncountable. Every passing day brought new challenges, fears, and worries but when I look back I don’t see all of them, hardly remembering the chaos they brought. This taught me to know my significance in God’s ‘great scheme of things’. My problems are truly insignificant. I lived life by the mantra, ‘this too shall pass’ and it allowed me to become aware of the short-lived nature of life and its problems.

Shifted my Focus

I faced bad days, but it’s unfair to force its impact on others. For example, when I faced some bad things at work, I felt my energy levels lowering, which made me negative by the time I reached home. Here it’s vital to learn the art of compartmentalizing; freezing and resetting. I’d pause at the side of the road before reaching home and reorient my focus for the rest of the day. I focused on my family, engaged with them, and had a blast. The secret was to never let negativity catch hold of me. I managed myself in small compartments and didn’t leave space for collateral damage.

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